Grand Square: Cafe, shawarma station and smoothie bar.....what in the world?!

If you live in Abuja or are a regular visitor to the Federal Capital, you must have heard of and probably have shopped at Grand Square. Set in the heart of Abuja's Central Business District, Grand Square has at various times in the past couple of years, trended as having some of the most sought after groceries or snacks especially in the baked goods (sliced bread and baguettes) and ice cream sections. Not many people however seem to know or patronize the less popular Grand Café which is located upstairs, or the sharwarma stand in the cold foods section. And the most recent addition, the 'smack-in-your-face' smoothie bar to the right at the entrance seems like a bold move and just beckons.

I got introduced to the salad options at Grand Café about 2 years ago. It was a brunch and +Ivie Inegbedion and I talked a couple of friends into visiting the Café. Fast forward to 2013/2014 and a couple of salad 'dos' with +Joy Olatunde , +nandak datok , +Bialalori Olakiigbe, +Ruke Ize-Iyamu as well as a couple of referrals to friends and it's time for a review.

yummy freshness

The salad options are chicken or tuna, with a fresh mix of cucumber, lettuce, beef tomatoes, hard boiled eggs and the most generous portion of diced chicken, in the chicken salad option. Sounds rather routine, bleh even, but the freshness of the veggies, the spice in the chicken and the dressing, just put the words 'bleh' and 'routine' to shame. Regular dressing is purportedly Heinz salad cream. I say 'purportedly' because my salads with the same dressing don't quite create the same 'feel like dancing on the tables' buzz. Each salad comes with baguette slices on the side and there's a sandwich option for those who want their stuff all maniacally neatly cut. Hehe.

So......, riding the crest of salad-induced ecstasy, even after numerous tries, and reeling from midday hunger, we decide to try out the sharwarma from the station downstairs.


Cabbage, mayo, onions, parsley, chili and a teeny weeny bit of beef

Now where do I begin? Its a hot day, we're hungry and it's the kind of hunger where even an army deserter's boots would probably taste good. The Grand Square beef sharwarma experience? Total 'flat-on-your-face' train wreck. I haven't felt this upset about a meal in ages. I mean, there's good food and there's great food. And you bear the lousy service that comes with either because the food makes up for it. Not so in this case. I can still taste the foulness of the miserly portion of beef in the sharwarma. The cabbage had the distinctive fading crunch of 'not-so-fresh' and the onion slices were a definite 'off' note. my friend had the 'Jumbo' which came with cheese and sausage in addition to your choice of beef or chicken and the cheese didn't taste good... It was a riotous mess which wasn't helped by the fact that it was lukewarm straight off the griddle or whatever it is that the heating contraption is called. We should have expected that from the lack of aroma, I mean, everyone knows that sharwarma joints across Abuja play table soccer with your nostrils once the wrap goes in the pan.



the cups.......the smoothie cups!!!! ish!

Then there is the smoothie joint with a great location at the entrance.

Nutty Blu...pineapple and blueberries.

The welcoming sign 'Hush' is rather apt I say. If you get there on a hot day and are not in a rush, you will definitely go really silent while sipping greedily on refreshing cold fruity goodness. The portions are great (at least the take out options are) and the prices aren't bad either. What I can't for the life of me understand is the use of a bottle rather than the regular cup with a hole in the lid and a fat straw for easy chugging. The thing I took away looked suspiciously like 'kunu' or 'fura da nono' and the regular juice straw we were given made it sound like we were drinking cement mix. That's almost a deal breaker. My friend had the 'Gov. General Exclusive', a blend of pineapple, apples and watermelon only the watermelon turned out to be watermelon juice. Fresh though, but its a betrayal of sorts. I had the 'Nutty Blu' blend of less than a handful of blueberries and a ton of pineapple. I'd have liked some more blueberries but it didn't taste bad, nonetheless.

So..I've oohed and aahed in delight over the salad, still shudder at the memory of the sharwarma and remain decidedly ambivalent towards the smoothie. It's on to the portion of this that makes me feel like Professor Moody of the Harry Potter series.
LOCATION/:8/10. Grand Square is located in Abuja's Central Area and has a decent parking lot. So choosing to eat there during rush hour isn't a bad idea. It's easy to get to from other part of the Metropolis and cabbies can easily be relied on to direct anyone there.
AMBIENCE/SCENERY: 4.5/10. I don't quite get what Grand Square owners are going for with this place. The Café upstairs isn't the cleanest place in the world. The air conditioners are nearly always filthy and the outdoor seating area looks desolate and dusty. The last time I was in, technicians were working on the A/Cs while we were being served. While that was annoying, I hope that means the whole place is being worked on.
SERVICE: 6/10. This is difficult to rate. The waiters in the Café are a polite bunch and so are the Smoothie bar even though the latter seem more eager than knowledgeable. The cashier at the cold foods section where we got the sharwarma on the other hand, was plain old nasty. In her choice of words, her body language and the whole shebang. Sadly, that's not really a rarity at Grand Square on the whole. Needs work, people.
COST: 6/10. Individually and as a whole, most of the prices work. The salads cost about N1,500 and the smoothies between N700 and N1,500. The sharwarma prices begin at N700 for a regular without sausage or cheese. This isn't bad but considering that you'd need floodlights to find the pieces of foul-tasting meat, for me it was 700 bucks too many.
TASTE etc.: 9/10 (Salad), 7/10 (Smoothie), 3/10 (sharwarma).
This Vs. Others: Would I go back there? For the salad, it was preordained from about the time that Mufasa took baby Samba up the hill to holler at the ancestors in dedication. The smoothies I'd like to give a second chance. The sharwarmas.....let's not talk about it yet. It was a wise man who said "never say never". I've a couple of salad bars lined up to try out and then I'll tell you what the verdict is. Same goes for the smoothie. Shawarmas though, I've a soft spot for the Ketchup offerings in Wuse 2 and the Chicken Capitol in Wuse Zone 3. Taste awesome and are always hot, hot, hot.

So, that's it for today's review. Drop a line letting me know what you think and where you'd like to have me review.

xoxo  

nkechi


Grand Square deets
Plot 270, Mohammadu Buhari Way, Central Area, Abuja
: +234 9 5230064, 2345030.  

Oceans 11..my seafood foray

Oceans 11.

I'm not a seafood lover, or liker (grammatically!) even. So if i have a lunch meeting, i safely steer the decision making process towards a restaurant or hangout that has chicken wings, if nothing else, on its menu. BUT, I had this meet and my friend Tiz, said Ocean's 11 and i loved the movie so.....I sha went.


ummmm, it was a mixed reactions thing.....I liked the place as soon as we drove in. it's situated in Wuse 2 and I was worried we might have had to wait for street parking on a busy route. So, finding out we could drive in at around 3 o'clock in the afternoon was great.

You can see from the pictures that it's an outdoor arrangement. Not bad. Small enough to be cosy, but not so small that you want to order take-out and seek the privacy of your ride, LOL.

artificial spring. would definitely look great at night

Oceans 11...  I quite expected something different from the name. That part of me that just has to rear her head when I'm trying to be serious actually hoped to see memorabilia from the movie, or at least a lame cutout of George Clooney or Brad Pitt. But what I'm referring to is the abscence of anything relating to the underwater. There is a little artificial spring which I'd love to see at night with the stars in the sky and the bulbs lit. I bet it would look great. Add to that, some sea creature themed salt and pepper shakers, an underwater scene setter somewhere on the premises, and a change in the layout of the menu, and the place will scream "seafood". After all, that's all the place is about, abi

place ur order, take a seat







Well, enough about the scenery and my penchant(?) tendency for nitpicking over weird details. Let's talk fooood!







 I had grilled croaker, Taiwo had grilled prawns. Each came with an option of rice, noodles, chips or boli. so, we had basmati rice.....

I wasn't knocked sideways by the taste or the presentation. the grilled croaker was nice-tasting but because it wasn't prepared in the sauce that was generously slathered on it, I would have preferred the sauce on the side. And I'm heavy on presentation, I wasn't bowled over by the look of my meal. i believe so much more could be done.




         The prawns weren't bad (Taiwo's words). If i were the owner, I'd have clients do tiny reviews on their bills so I'd know immediately what their experiences were. It's a small place so that shouldn't be too difficult. a 'not bad' review of a restaurant's key offering isn't favourable sha

grilled prawns, tomato and chilli sauce. side of Basmati rice

 

 

So, here's a summary of my Oceans 11 visit. If you find it useful, lemme know. If you dont, I'll put a seafood hex on ye. LOL:

 

 

1. Location: 7/10...great location, within a 10 minute drive of most office within Central Abuja. Parking availability is a biggie for me when deciding a midday lunch venue. Jevinik, Chopsticks, Biobak etc are places whose rush hour traffic issues are infuriating
2. Ambience/Scenery, etc: 7/10 the picket fence enclosure is like a hearty welcoming greeting. the faux grass carpet means is clean and has no discernible smell. Overall, it's clean and comfortable. It will be cold sometimes especially with the rains but it's an outdoor place so it's to be expected. It's promixity to the stand-by generator is annoying though. Not close enough that u have to yell to be heard though.
3. Service: 6/10. yes, the attendant-cum-waitress was pleasant but rush hour meals need to be a little faster, and service a little smarter. Plus any meal that takes over 15 minutes in preparation time shoud be preceded by chips, a mag, or sweets on the house
4. Cost: 6/10 @ an average of 2k per plate, it's not the most expensive meal in Abuja. For that however, I'd rather do the croaker at Calypso or the Grilled Wings at Nkoyo. Ocean's 11 should have the fish recipe tweaked a little.
5. TASTE: 5/10. Not the greatest. i liked the rice, the veggies were nicely cooked: not too tender, not too crunchy. The fish though, I really didn't 'feel'. I like my grilled fish well spiced, and this was a tad under spiced and the sauce didn't pull the meal together. I will go back soon though cos I did like the place so I'll give it a 2nd try.

That's it for now....gotta dash.

 

 

xoxo

 

nk

 

 

restaurant deets:

Plot 135 Adetokunbo Ademola Crescent, Wuse 2, Abuja 

twitter: @oceans11seafood

cell:      07057725555

 

YogurBerry.....yogurt on speed, lol

YogurBerry...well the name alone makes u extremely curious. Anyway, had a meet with a friend/biz partner and we settled for YogurBerry since I'd never been there. Hmmm, how do I start?!

The place is kinda cold....has to be to keep the frozen and cold delights at lip-licking temperature. I can't believe I'd never been there. They have offerings like yogurt smoothies, frozen yogurt and the yogurt parfait with a nice array of toppings and tower options. 

 I had the Yogurt Parfait....this is where it gets interesting. The Yogurt Parfait (even the name sounds like a romantic whisper, hia!) begins with a sweet unflavored yogurt base. Next comes an interesting and healthy layer of cereal and fruits. I had granola, followed by Apple, pineapple and watermelon. Topping this cold tower is a large helping of pomegranate yogurt...my mouth is watering as I write this even. lol. For extra sweetness, there's a sweet wafer roll nestled nicely at the top, to the side. As u may have alresdy guessed, my meeting didn't start early. I was too busy wolfing my Yogurty surprise down and trying to keep inappropriate sounds to no more than the occasional greedy moan, or were they growls, escaping my throat. Hehe.

So did I like the place? I hear someone yelling 'trick question, trick question!'. Yes, I really did. So here's my take on YogurBerry:

 

• Ambience/atmosphere: nice setting, great lighting. soothing colors too. not particularly crazy about the cold though. 7/10

• servings: portions are great and the taste is really, well, 'tasty'. you know how th taste of really creamy ice cream is heightened by the slow slide of a spoonful down ur throat? well, my yogurt parfait was all that and more. and cold as it was, I didn't get 'brain freeze' even though I was gulping like crazy. i'd however have liked the cereal and fruits to have come in layers interspersed with the flavored yogurt cos the tastes didn't gel as much as i'd have liked until I started to spoon 'a lil of this', 'a lil of that'. 8/10

• service: neatly uniformed, disposable-gloved attendants were polite, and helpful even when Taiwo threw a mock-tantrum, as is his wont. lol. that's a plus. one was bored though and it showed. I honestly considered doing a tabletop dance to jazz her day up.

• pricing: the stuff I bough to eat in and take away all cost between 800 and 1100 per serving. that's a great offer for the mix u get. 9/10

• location. hmmm.  yogur Berry is on the same street as Jevinik in Wuse 2, nestled btw Kalamarie and Tulip Bistro (doing those soon). theoretically, its a great location cos Wue 2 is central. parking available is primarily street parking so I guess that may be an ish at some point. it wasn't that day though, the street parking attendant easily found me a spot 7/10

• other, other, other stuff: I love what Yogur berry has to offer. I however would have liked to see a hot beverage on the menu. im sure some yogurt version of the cappuccino would be a hit with customers. I also think having something to nibble on like scones, biscuits or similar may resonate with more customers than otherwise.

that's it for tonight. if u read, lemme know what u think. if u've other places u'd like a review of, lemme know. i'll swing by sometime.


e-yogurberry: www.facebook.com/YogurberryNigera and https://twitter.com/yogurberryNG


xoxo,
nkechi